The Sensuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts discover this on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and wellness .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is see page readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay men desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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