The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled you can check here and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay men wish to discover out from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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