The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus check this to produce emotions), which makes us feel advice really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

However when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Numerous gay men wish i loved this to find out from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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