The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when problems occur, those who fall over here into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an go now RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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